why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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