Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
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