Welp...herpes.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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