k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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