Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I got chris browned last night
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
