dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
