Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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