you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
