Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize