You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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