Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize