i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
