So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
