my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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