Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
how does that bad decision feel?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
