he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
