and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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