sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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