the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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