I wish I only lived at night.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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