I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You ate ashes out of my bong
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
