He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
