Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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