For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
