A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
