Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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