Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize