Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Randomize
