I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
