Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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