We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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