I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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