Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize