just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Is it because I queefed?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
