Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
