oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
We have so much sex to catch up on
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
