I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
