Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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