one word: firstdatebathroomanal
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
