You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
