I hope mine doesn't look like that
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
