I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
