the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
