i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Is it penis luge time yet?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
