There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
