so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
