I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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