I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
