I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
