If i come over, it means nothing
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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