The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
