Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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