I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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