I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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