What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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