are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
