we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
