Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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