I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Michael Bay diarrhea
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
